Anastasia Meets Star Wars
by cg226
Summary: The characters from the 1997 film 'Anastasia' come to life in the Star Wars universe.


Anastasia Meets Star Wars

By Colleen Knix

Characters owned by 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm, 

I hereby grant this document to the public domain. (Because I think copywriting fanfic as bad as mine is kind of dumb)

I'd appreciate it if you e-mail me if you want to do something with it. I just wanna know, OK? (Do you honestly think I'd try to stop you?)

** **

**There once was a time, in a galaxy far, far away... **

The galaxy was in turmoil over the current state of government. Everyone except for the evil and restless Raspire liked the current rulers, the Romanovs. The Raspire was led by the evil Moff Lenin, who wanted total rulership of every star system in the galaxy. His sidekick, the evil Rasp Utin, Lord of the Rasp, used his mystical powers to help Moff Lenin as well as fulfill his own dream to get revenge on the Romanov family.

So with the newly finished construction of the powerful Death Reliquary, The Raspire took siege on the Romanovs and their home planet of Russuuine. The ruling family's army defeated the skilled, but stupid Minion Troopers and won the battle. However the evil Rasp Utin took prisoner Tsar Nicky-Two's youngest daughter, Princess Anya. The whole planet anxiously plotted a way to get the young senator back from the clutches of the Raspire. Some thought the Princess was dead, but a reward was offered to anyone who could rescue her and the rumor spread through the Rebel forces. The word came to a space pirate named Dimitri, who, although not a Rebel himself helped the Rebel forces with his exceptional skills as a con man and a freighter pilot. 

During a mission to deliver illegal goods to a remote and corrupt paradise of the system called Losangelaan. Dimitri was captured by the Raspire and forced to cancel the shipment of merchandise. The rich and cruel Space gangster, Raspee the Hutt, was enraged at the loss of the luxurious stolen goods. Dimitri escaped the planet as soon as possible after learning that the Hutt would either demand a refund or keep Dimitri as a slave on his ship.

He had just finished single-handedly rescuing an entire planet from the clutches of a greedy hypnotist, when he heard about the reward. He didn't particularly like the nobility, but there was a cash prize being offered and cash was something Dimitri loved. 

"Our smuggling days are over, Vladie. We'll never have to hide from that slimy doughball again!" he said to his tall sidekick. 

"I'm hungry." Vladie replied in his native language, Sidekickyyykian. 

"Okay, Vladie. Have a cream puff."

After using his DimitriScan (tm) scanner to locate the princess, he and Vladie carefully sneaked inside the huge Rasperial fort where she was being held. 

"They're about to terminate her!" Exclaimed Vladie. 

"Better her than me!" Dimitri answered and trotted off to rescue her. 

Dimitri found an incredibly ridiculous Minion Trooper costume and put it on. He shot several Minion Troopers with his trusty DimitriBlast (tm) laser rifle. He then found Princess Anya's cell. After opening the door with the forged card-key he had made. The Princess was sleeping on a damp floor. She woke up and saw him. "A little short for a Minion Trooper, aren't you? What were you? A vulture in another life?" She asked "Nice, come on!" He retorted.

Admiral Bartok, the evil Lord Rasp Utin's second in command warned his master of the escape. 

"Master, master! Anastasia's alive! I saw her!" 

"You miserable rodent! Of course she's alive. She's not to be terminated until tomorrow!" 

"Oh. Well, anyway I thought you'd like to know that she escaped from her cell!" 

"Noooo!" he exclaimed. "Track her and her rescuers on your scanner" 

"Yes, master!" After some minutes, the little admiral came to his master in his Meditation Pod. 

"Master! We have just spotted the Millennium Thunder" 

"Really?" Asks Rasp Utin "Where are they?" 

"They went *that* way, sir!" Bartok informed him.

"I don't know how we got out of there alive, but I guess there's nothing like a good rescue to start the day." Dimitri remarked boastfully. 

"You don't know how we got out? Well, I'll tell you how we got out. *I* led *you* out." Exclaims Anya. "Oh, no. No, no, no. You were in there in one of those itty-bitty cells, and then I rescued you. Remember, Princess?" 

"Well, what I do remember is when they nearly got us because your overstuffed sidekick wouldn't fit thought the door." 

"It isn't wise to insult a sidekick," Dimitri cautioned her. 

"Why?" Princess Anya asked.

"Because sidekicks pull people's arms out of their sockets." He replied.

"Oh. And just how is it that you know what sidekicks do and don't do?" She asks.

"I make it my business to know. I've still got _my_ arms, don't I?"

"Oh. Well, the sooner we get home, the better. No one has seen or knows anything about my POOK-A32" She sighed. "And he's been gone too long to have gotten lost"

While Dimitri and Princess Anya were on the way to the Russuuine, the Raspire received a signal of the Millennium Thunder's location trough a tracking device that they had placed in Princess Anya's droid, POOK-A32. They captured the Millennium Thunder and took Dimitri and Princess Anya prisoner. While kept in chains in the huge Death Reliquary, Vladie spent his time singing love songs from his native planet, sidekickyyyk to Anya and Dimitri. 

One night, Princess Anya sent a message to her faithful droid, POOK-A32 and asked him to open the door of her cell. (How she did this, I would just have to attribute to her Heroine Powers)She escaped, but got lost in the huge ship. She found Rasp Utin's personal chambers, including the huge pod he meditated in. She also found a whole bunch of stuff on the floor, like little squashed creatures, gothic manuscripts, and fingers. She also found the Reliquary. Princess Anya knew that without the reliquary, Rasputin was nothing but a short, balding ghost. She also knew that it enabled him to communicate with his powerful leader, the Rasperor.

She was about to crush it when she heard breathing behind her. Rasp Utin. "We meet again, Princess Anya. Look what ten years has done to us. You… a beautiful young flower, and me . . . now I am The Master!" he said. She reached for her Together In Paris (tm) lightsaber, but remembered that it was not there. So she started to run. Rasp Utin used his mystical powers to wrap everything in her path in a sheet of ice. The shiny metal surfaces of the ship turned so slippery that she could not go any further. Coming across an oddly shaped blast door, she pressed the button on the panel. The door opened! She ran into a room whose floor was covered with sumptuous carpet. This was Utin's personal hypnosis Chamber of Dreams. Rasp Utin appeared in the doorway "Nicky-Two has taught you well! But perhaps you are not as strong as the Rasperor thought." He flipped a switch on the wall marked "Butterflies". Anya went into a hypnotized state. She followed the butterflies as if she were sleepwalking. 

Meanwhile, Dimitri and Vladie tore apart the wires in a hidden panel, which Dimitri had found, trying to make the door open. "I've got it!" he says. "I think I've got it!" 

The door opens. 

"I never doubted you for a second" Says Vladie. "Wonderful!" And Vladie and Dimitri run out to rescue Princess Anya once more.

She follows them all the way to the vast middle of the ship. It is huge and seemingly bottomless, but she thinks that it is only a small pool. "Yes, give *in* you your *anger*. Only your *hate* will save you!" Rasp Utin taunted. Anya woke up and gasped. "I'll never join you!" she shouted seeing Rasp Utin's face. 

Rasp Utin reached out poked her with his finger. 

Because she was wearing those dangerous high-heels, she slipped and lost her balance.She managed to catch a small metal instrument and hang onto it. Rasp Utin looked down into the vast empty space in the middle of his big green ship. He didn't see Anya. "Ha ha ha!" he sneered. "I just knew that killing the last of the Romanovs with my own hands would be so delicious! All too easy!" 

"Wanna bet?" shouted Dimitri running out onto the small platform. Before Rasp Utin could say anything, Dimitri grabbed him by his collar and shoved him against the wall. "Where's Princess Anya?" he demanded. "There." Utin croaked pointing down toward the bottom of the ship. Dimitri gasped in horror. Rasp Utin pushed a button on his panel of buttons "Admiral Bartok" He said. "I want you to take Captain Dimitri back to his cell." "Yes master!" Bartok said through the static. He appeared in the door in a few seconds and marched Dimitri off of the plank. Meanwhile Anya was playing with the buttons on the underside of the platform. She found and interesting, huge, red one marked "Do Not Push" She pushed it. In a few seconds the entire comlink system on the whole Death Reliquary was out. An alarm went off in another part of the ship. "Dimitri!" Yelled Anya from her precarious balance "Help!" She was about to slip "What?!" says Rasp Utin. 

"Anya!" Dimitri took a little smuggler thingie out of his pocket and swung it over a thing in the middle of the ship. "Anya nooooo!!!" He shouted. He swung across and caught Anya just as she lost her grip on the smooth surface she'd been clinging to. 

They all ran toward their ship, picking POOK-A32 up on the way.

Rasp Utin sent his Minion Troopers out to go and capture the runaways. They were caught trying to decode a password at one of the terminals (POOK-A32 needs a sidekick who can tell the others what he's found). So the Minion Troopers march all four of them up to Rasp Utin. "Did you deactivate the Hyperdrive on the Millennium Thunder?" asks Rasp Utin of Admiral Bartok. 

"What for? They aren't going anywhere, sir!" he answers. "True." says Utin as he waves his hand for everyone to follow him. They get back to wherever it is where they take prisoners. 

Then there is a sticky sounding knock at the ship's door (Yes, the ship was in the middle of space, and yet it had a door. Don't ask.) It was Raspee the Hutt. He blabbed to everyone about how much money Dimitri owed him. Then he demanded Princess Anya so she could be made his own, private can-can girl and Dimitri so he could be a slave. 

"But red's not my color!" Anya whined. 

"Wait a minute," said Rasp Utin. "I wasn't done with Dimitri." 

"So, what are _you_ going to do with him?" asked the slimy hutt. 

"I'm going to put him into carbon freeze." Announced Utin. 

"No!" Shouted Princess Anya. 

"Come on, my lovely can-can girl" Oozed Raspee the Hutt. 

Princess Anya smacked him in the face. 

"OOOW!" He huge gangster exclaimed. "Utin, if I let you put Dimitri into carbon freeze, will you let me have him? Right away?" He asked. 

"Okay." Rasp Utin agreed. Two Minion Troopers put these ridiculous arm shackle thing on Dimitri. Princess Anya started to cry. 

"If we live though this, remind me to thank you." Dimitri told her. They would have kissed but then POOK-A32 beeped excitedly. He ran up and grabbed the reliquary out of Rasp Utin's hand, using to little propellers on his "head" to fly around with it. He dropped it at Princess Anya and Dimitri's feet and they took turns crunching it to bits. "Nooooo!! Noooo!!!" Screamed Rasp Utin as he dissolved into a fine powder.

Princess Anya and Dimitri, along with Vladie and POOK-A32 found the Millennium Thunder and took off. They had some minor trouble with the hyperdrive. Princess Anya remarked how dumb looking the ship was, but it did work in the end. 

The ship flew off through the starry space as a tune strikingly similar to "Journey To The Past" played loudly with trumpet fanfares.


End file.
